I hate both of you for being so selfish. So yall wanted to talk it through, communicate, then fucking do it when yall are sane.

I don't know why everytime I come online, I become incredibly bad tempered or teary. Hence I come here, trying to write something to release that feeling. But what is there, is an incoherent mess. I can't write it out. I can't relieve myself. Can you sense that feeling of unhelpness? I want to smash that fucking 45 inches TV with everybody's smiles looking 100 times wider than usual, swallowing me whole. I want them to cry, not to laugh.

All these unexplained feeling. I want to escape from all these. 9 more months. I can do this. I can.

I'm getting outta here.